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		<title>UPS Whiteboard Guy Defies “Evil Empire”</title>
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		<title>The Grassy Knoll Gunman is Raising Gas Prices</title>
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		<description>With apologies to our resident conspiracy theorist Roy Bancroft Jr., I must confess that I have had just about enough...</description>
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		<title>Burgeoning Buffet District Keeps Townsfolk Dancing in the Meats</title>
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		<description>Tallahassee, FL - Recent Florida State graduate John &amp;ldquo;Roach&amp;rdquo; Franklin is reportedly &amp;ldquo;psyched&amp;rdquo; for his upcoming jaunt across the country...</description>
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		<description>Snatchville, WA - Snatchville High School senior Pete Conway thought that he had it all figured out. After three years...</description>
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