Nice work, Ty.

According to the complaints made public by ABC, most of the problems stem from the bedrooms that were made for the families’ kids and the heart-wrenching “memorials” that are often times placed somewhere in the new houses in the event that the family has lost a loved one.

One such issue raised by an angry teenager living in a new Extreme Makeover house is that when the show was talking to the family before they built their new home to see what kind of things the kids were interested in-- in order to come up with possible design strategies for their bedrooms-- he was asked simply, “Do you have any hobbies?”

He says that since he was thirteen at the time, and had just recently received a model train for Christmas the year before, he replied simply “I like trains.” Which he did…at the time.

From that short, three word, off-the-cuff answer, the show’s design team went to town and turned his new bedroom into a replica of a train station, complete with tracks that run from the door to his bed (which is shaped like a caboose), a scenic mural of a small town train station circa 1926 on the walls, model trains that hang from the ceiling and run along the wall molding, and a hat stand that is really a railroad crossing light.

The boy, now a sophomore in high school, claims that he is the laughing stock of his school because he “sweeps in a choo-choo twain.”

He says that he can no longer wear overalls (the desire to wear overalls possibly being another problem), and that although he is grateful for what the show did for his family, he wishes “that I would’ve said I was into naked girls or something…anything but trains.”

While the apparent lack of knowledge that “children grow up” is a big problem for the show’s design team, another, more adult dilemma is that many of the guests who have lost spouses are finding it very difficult to move on with their lives because of the memorials that have been built into their new homes.

Says one widow, “I am trying to get out and see people, but whenever I invite someone in, the first thing they see is a huge life-size portrait of my departed husband that’s done in bas relief on the ceiling of the foyer, and they turn-tail and run. I can’t blame ‘em. I mean I miss my husband and still love him, I always will, but…come on. It gives people the creeps.”

Thus far, the entire burden of blame for these complaints has been placed squarely upon the shoulders of the spikey-haired, perkier-than-thou host and design team leader Ty Pennington who claims that he has been “thrown under the bus” by his superiors (possibly referring to the giant uber-bus that always hides the new house from the family) and that he “isn’t about to take the fall for this.”

According to Pennington, “If these people want to complain about a free house, let them. From now on perhaps my special project should be seeing how much I can get laid instead of how I can turn some kid’s room into a fully functioning ice cream factory. Ingrates.”