Frightening.

Varney made a name for himself in the 1980’s and 90’s by creating a terribly unfunny hillbilly character named Ernest. As many of you know, Ernest not only “went to camp”, but was also “scared stupid” and “saved Christmas”, all the while addressing the audience in the first-person as someone named “Vern”- constantly asking if we “knew what he meant.”

Nyles new homage to Varney is called “The Importance of Being Ernest” and will feature the equally annoying French Stewart in the title role while Emmanuel Lewis will recreate the tiny juvenile delinquent “Moose” that Ernest grew to love in “Ernest Goes to Camp.”

As a narrative device for the play, Moose will act as Varney’s do-gooder conscience, advising him on how to act and explaining the chronology of events to the audience.

New York theater critics are already praising the play before its run because of the relative obscurity of the subject matter and the presence of two washed-up actors trying to spark their comebacks by appearing in an obnoxious fringe Broadway musical.

“’The Importance of Being Ernest’ will cover every aspect of Varney’s life, warts and all”, Nyles says, “We thought about leaving out his reckless drug and alcohol abuse because we feared that he was too-loved by fans, but then we thought, ‘let’s do it, Jim would have wanted it that way.’ Jim never backed down from a challenge in his whole life, from what I hear.”

Songs featured in the anticipated musical include “Do You know What I Mean, Vern (Struggle Against Mediocrity)”, “I Am a Man”, “Ernest P. Worrel vs. Inner Peace: Parts I and II”, and the tragic “Giggling Through the Tears Overture” which displays Varney’s difficulty dealing with fame as a “funny man” and the reasons why he turned to cocaine and whiskey to dull his pain.

Nyles is confident that his latest opus will surpass even his past successes like the unforgettable “Lawyers on a Train” about a romance between OJ litigators Christopher Darden and Marcia Clark, and the provocative “Jack and the Lovestalk” which gave hip nineties audiences a chance to laugh irreverently at a collection of beloved fairy tales- ingenious.