FRONT PAGE ENTERTAINMENT Ghost of Pauley Shore’s Career Finally Forced to “Cross Over”
|
|
Ghost of Pauley Shore’s Career Finally Forced to “Cross Over” |
|
|
Written by S.D. Malone
|
 How's it feel, buuuuuuddy? Hollywood, CA- A highly skilled team of ghost hunters and psychics worked well into the early hours of the morning on Halloween to finally coerce the ghost of Pauley Shore’s career to cross over to “the light” and relinquish its pathetic grasp to the mortal world. The ghost of Shore’s career has been giving the “Weasel” problems ever since it became abundantly clear that the nauseating star of Encino Man and Biodome had lost all hope of ever regaining his ill-deserved celebrity.
Long dead, Shore’s career has been haunting the former MTV staple for the past several years, incessantly taunting his lack of work and begging him to “get his fucking act together” and resurrect the malcontented career’s life-force. Shore originally thought that having the ghost of his lackluster career following him around all of the time may serve as an incentive to reinvent himself, but as the verbal assaults became more and more severe, the “Weez” turned to paranormal experts for help in ridding himself of this invasive specter which has ruined many of his personal relationships and “forced him to the ledge” more than once. The team of ghostbusters successfully made contact with the sarcastic spirit after two hours of “static interference” which was blamed on Shore’s repeated attempts to make light of the serious situation, cracking wise at several instances on the ritual employed by the experts to strike up communications with the disgruntled phantom. After finally quieting the “comic” down, his career was contacted and asked why it refused to cross peacefully over into the paranormal plane of existence and leave the frustrated Weasel alone. The apparition claimed that it would not leave the mortal realm until Shore admitted that it was his fault that the career died so young, noting that that was all it had wanted to hear all of this time, but that Shore has been too stubborn and stupid to cop to what he had done. The experts implored Pauley to “be a man and apologize” to his dead career for a few hours before he agreed (this process taking up the bulk of the time in the exorcism). The washed-up Shore finally acquiesced, and the spirit peacefully crossed into eternity, but not before calling him a “hack” as a last jibe before making its departure. |
|