Pray Your Gods.

According to Bowers, the Spirit stirred inside of him and expelled what he believes to be an evil presence that had been residing in the deep recesses of his bowels for the better part of a year.

The life altering moment that Bowers experienced in the bathroom of his second floor apartment has inspired the 29 year old retail sales associate to cast off the bounds of his formerly dastardly ways in favor of a life committed to the spreading of the good news that he is convinced he received while taking a dump.

He has founded a new church that he calls The United Brethren of Lavatory Science and hopes that his message of rebirth by “cleansing” will lead to scores of saved souls and secure his place on one of the many lavish toilets available in heaven at the end of time.

So far, Bowers has recruited a dozen or so members for his new church and instead of what might be considered a “traditional baptism” by some, prospective brethren undergo a colonic administered by Bowers and witnessed by fellow members of the congregation as a symbolic recreation of Bowers sacred event and in order to give the lucky salvation hunters a “clean start” on their path to righteousness.

Bowers described why he felt that he needed to start a new church, “Well, I was lying in bed one Saturday night and felt an unholy rumbling in the depths of my guts, so I got up and went to the bathroom just like anyone would. I didn’t know that I was about to be touched by the hand of God. It was a battle of wills just to get into the bathroom before letting loose…it was me against evil. I was tempted to give up, but I persevered, and found myself sitting on the commode of fortune. Immediately, all hell broke loose-- literally. After several agonizing moments of foul stank, the grimace was complete. I arose victorious and peered into the toilet bowl only to see the Devil himself staring back at me, defeated. It was then that I knew something special had happened and that I had a new responsibility to evangelize the masses.”

Bowers denies the coincidence that his epiphany occurred after a night of heavy drinking and fajitas at a nearby Mexican restaurant, and feels that his new church will do a lot of good for a lot of people.

Taking a page from the famous Gideons who are largely responsible for Bibles in hotel rooms, Bowers has set off on a similar mission to see that every restroom in world has something to read besides the sports section.