Pringlepants in his prime

Former co-worker Mike Whip describes the behavior that ultimately led to Wimpleton’s termination. “Rob was doing great work here for the first couple of months or so”, Whip says. “ We used to get together for root beers after work on Fridays. It was pretty chill. It wasn’t long after that, Rob got knee deep in Warcraft. Next thing you know, the guy comes to our Christmas party dressed up like an elf or something. I thought it was pretty funny at first, but then he tried to cast spells and shit on all of us. It was pretty creepy.”

Although she was unavailable for comment, the former Mrs. Wimpleton has cited irreconcilable differences in divorce papers obtained by Treebune.com. Rob Wimpleton maintains that jealousy was the real cause for the disintegration of his brief marriage. “She was pissed when I got into an awesome guild”, Wimpleton claims. “While I was out on raids she was soloing Crocolisks in the Swamp of Sorrows with her Gnome. I guess I’d be a little jealous too.”

Whatever the cause for Mr. Wimpleton’s reversal of fortune, it is clear that he has become somewhat of a celebrity amongst bored nerds across the globe. With his level 70 status, Wimpleton has firmly taken the reigns of his guild and proven his undying dedication to an artificial world of goblins and fools.