Bud Bowl - c. 1992

Long known for his incredible accuracy and glass balls, the usually automatic kicker missed the field goal in what would be described as the “shank heard ‘round the world”. The 27-24 final score sent many degenerate gamblers deeper into debt and left bar owners wondering how the devastating loss would affect Bud Light sales.

It would take15 years and the confession of a broke down kicker to uncover the truth about that sordid day on the gridiron. In an exclusive Treebune.com interview, the Bud Light kicker confessed that Anheuser-Busch officials had contacted him prior to kickoff.

“They kind of just pulled me aside when we were lined up in the tunnel leading out onto the field”, claims the beleaguered kicker. “I was offered a briefcase full of hops in exchange for doing my part in blowing that game. As if that wasn’t enough, the guy threatened me with a fu*king bottle opener.”

Anheuser-Busch henchmen have been adamant in dismissing the claim as “garbage”. Adding a wrinkle to the sad saga is former Las Vegas odds-maker Doug Schissler, who now runs a dice game in his parents’ basement. “I think anyone that watched the 92’ Bud Bowl was a little suspicious when Budweiser came away with the win. I had Bud Light sitting at +2.5, but I thought they had a good chance of blowing the thing wide open.”

Many continue to speculate over the authenticity of the Bud Light kicker’s confession. One thing is for certain; the accusations have left a black eye on the once proud line of Anheuser-Busch products. Coupled with an investigation into the murder of former spokes-dog Spuds McKenzie, the Bud Bowl controversy could put this drunken giant to bed.