Not very ladylike.

“Joakim has meant the world to our basketball program and we are forever grateful to have been blessed with such a tenacious competitor to represent our university,” said Donovan. “Being the first female athlete to ever participate on our men’s basketball team is something Joakim can always hang her hat on. She knows the difficult path that lay ahead at the professional level and we fully support whatever she decides to do.”

Refusing to answer any follow-up questions, Donovan left the conference room abuzz with both the muddled opinion and groundless conjecture that has plagued sportswriters for decades.

Unable to accept defeat, the pool of journalists formed a slow moving herd and plodded their way towards the Edwards Jones Dome’s practice facility to try and get a few words from Noah herself.

Unsurprisingly, reporters found Florida’s ferocious forward practicing lay-ups, free throws, and the occasional 12-foot “jumper” that is mostly prevalent in women’s basketball.

“I really don’t have anything to say right now,” said a visibly agitated Noah. “ You guys can write whatever you want. Right now I’m focused on bringing another national title to Florida and maybe thinking about what I’m going to wear out to the bar tonight. It’s ladies’ night; 2 for 1 well liquors and dollar drafts. Hey, a girl’s gotta go out and play sometime.”

Noah’s remarks were met with the same nervous laughter that usually follows the glove snap of a wisecracking proctologist.

After being named the Final Four’s Most Valuable Player in the 2006 NCAA Tourney, many college basketball “experts” expected Noah to declare for the draft immediately as her stock had hit an all time high.

But due to a somewhat lackluster season in which Joakim missed several games with a nagging yeast infection and was routinely outshined by fellow post player Al Horford, both WNBA analysts now place her in either the late first round or possibly the second round of this year’s draft.

As if her mediocre play weren’t enough, Noah’s “Air Hump” dance following Florida’s SEC Championship win over Arkansas not only made most of America puke, but forced the WNBA’s scout to re-evaluate Noah’s sanity and demand a re-count of her chromosomes.

Whatever her decision may be, Joakim has certainly made a name for herself in men’s college basketball and is an integral part of a Florida team seeking a rare repeat.

Florida fans can only hope that the circus surrounding their beloved swing-woman won’t distract their team’s march through the tournament.