"Get well soon, Griff."

Although the injury looked to be rather minor, the recent reports that have suggested that Griffey will be ready for spring training seem to have been erroneous at best.

Hal McCoy, veteran Reds beat writer and model of irresponsible journalism, first reported that Griffey would indeed be ready for spring training in a January column featured in the Dayton Daily News.

Contrary to speculative reports, Treebune.com has learned that Griffey will indeed be out for an indefinite period of time due to a severely bruised ego.

Insiders speculate that the fragile outfielder should be ready in between the Reds’ inevitable hot start and their eventual implosion due to injuries and an exposed pitching staff.

 It is no secret that most of Cincinnati’s pitchers spend their post season watching the World Series on community televisions in various retirement homes scattered throughout the state of Florida.

With their deadly mix of geriatric arms and young, unproven hurlers, the Reds are always a threat to challenge the Royals in a race to baseball’s basement of bastard franchises.

Once heralded as the second coming of Christ in Cincinnati, Griffey’s latest injury has angered already frustrated fans, but in one of life’s sweet ironies, the bruised ego has delivered a bit of vindication to Reds GM Wayne Krivsky. After loading his roster with countless outfielders and neglecting the club’s dire need for defensive minded infielders, Krivsky’s dedication to having the most outfielder’s on a single MLB roster seems to have provided the depth necessary to overcome the loss of the team’s aging superstar.

With a city divided in violent turmoil and the arrest of the Bengals’ entire 40-man roster, the Reds are in a position to be a positive influence on the once proud metropolis. But without the ailing Griffey and a viable pitching staff, the club could find itself in the divisional basement once again. Time will tell.