A terrorist in proper attire.

Officials believe that this latest incident shows that terrorists are becoming more and more sloppy and disorganized, losing much of their nerve as anti-terrorist measures tighten the noose around their evil organizations and force them to employ less “skilled” recruits to achieve their ignorant goals.

According to reports, the impatient and foolish misanthrope became agitated as he waited anxiously to carry out his fiendish plan and inexplicably erupted into a tirade directly in front of the ticket counter of a major airline and several airport security guards that were in attendance.

The man, said to be of Middle Eastern decent, was already under close watch by security due to his obviously phony disguise as a blond-haired, fancy-panted Englishmen traveling under the name of Archibald Pennyweather complete with monocle, ascot, and top hat.

A copy of the London-based Times newspaper held under the arm and a pair of rotted Billy-Bob teeth rounded out his ridiculously over the top get-up.

After standing in line for over thirty-five minutes behind an elderly couple that was arguing ad nauseam as to whether Murder, She Wrote or Matlock was the best crime-based television show of all time, the ill-tempered man tried at first to speak in a polite Cockney/Arabic accent, asking the couple to “kindly shut their filthy mouths”. When the incessant bickering continued (the beloved Andy Griffith was starting pull out in front of the debate), “Mr. Pennyweather” completely broke character and shouted “shut the f*#k up, I’m trying to concentrate on blowing up this plane!”, at which point a swarm of security personnel converged on him, brutally taking him to the ground as he vehemently cursed the cantankerous couple in his native tongue.

A later search revealed a stick of dynamite strapped to the imbecile’s inner thigh, apparently, if questioned about the protrusion on his thigh, “Pennyweather” had planned on claiming that he had taken Viagra before arriving at the airport.

The elderly couple, whose infantile griping helped to avert a tragedy, Betty and Herb Marshall of Hershey, Pennsylvania, received a special commendation from President Bush in which he called them “champions of freedom”.

The airline rewarded their efforts by bumping them from coach to business class, first class being no place for old people or arguments involving Angela Landsbury.