"That's a pretty bodacious bike."

The current investigation, which was sparked by an article in the New York Times, is to determine the legality of the President’s actions and whether he used the wiretaps for official or unofficial business.

The White House claims that George W. had the legal right to impose the wiretaps in the pursuit of justice, but if the new information is true, then a floodgate may be opened which could very well call into question the motivations behind almost any Presidential decision that has been made since Bush has been in office.

As this latest round of allegations goes, the President decided that he had “lost his edge” as it comes to making polite conversation and so decided that since there was no oversight of his wiretaps, that he would place some on people that he was likely to talk to in social situations so that he might gain an unknown advantage in his conversations, making it appear as though he was very astute and knowledgeable; blessed with the gift of gab.

According to reports, this latest swash in the wiretap tempest came after a dinner party where the President, desperate to showcase his new edge, commented on several guests’ shopping lists and marital rifts that he learned of by eavesdropping on their personal phone calls.

Saying things like, “So…Jim’s really fond of fruit roll-ups” and “It’s a shame that Rita and Frank can’t see eye to eye on this whole ‘sex thing’,” Georgie left several dinner party guests baffled at how he could know so much about the private matters of those in their social circle and started the ball of questions about the situation rolling.

For those who feared that the Patriot Act and its somewhat lax restrictions on government intrusion would culminate in something like this, the new allegations have been put in the “I told you so” column while those who never thought it would come to this are saying that if the government knows that they eat steak on Tuesdays it’s a small price to pay to ensure that the country is kept safe from terror.