Bush's Korean map.

After “less-than-ideal” results from similar requests to China and Russia, Bush is apparently trying to appeal to any entity he can that he believes will end the foolish and potentially dangerous showdown with the green jumpsuit-clad Communists.

Unapologetic in the face of questions from assembled journalists as to the legitimacy of his make-believe potential allies, Bush was defiant in his own right as he proudly declared that the “protection of freedom cannot be limited to everyday thinking” and that the world needs to be “more bold in its handling of tyrants.”

Despite the fact that East and West Korea do not currently appear anywhere on any map, Bush asked the two nations to impose severe economic and karaoke sanctions on North Korea in an effort to deprive Jong-Il’s government of it’s current “luxury items.”

It is rumored that Kim Jong-Il is an avid Karaoke enthusiast and that if there were such places as East and West Korea, a block on karaoke heading into North Korea might be just the “below-the-belt” shot that might jar him back to reality and force him to quit acting so crazy.

According to reports, Kim Jong-Il is a huge Kenny Rogers fan and that his karaoke rendition of “Lucille” is one of the “greatest pleasures for lovers of music in the universe today” (this statement from a North Korean who was asked to comment in the presence of a regime censor which encouraged the response under the threat of reprisal).

Although it is not yet known as to whether or not Bush’s strategy to bring the North Koreans into line will prove successful, it is said by some international relations experts that he could be attempting to “out-insane” Kim Jong-Il and in essence, call his bluff by demonstrating that if the dictator wants to get nutty, the US is not afraid to oblige.

The other, less rosy (for us) theory is that President Bush really thought there were two countries called East and West Korea.