McGruff sports his creepy trench coat.

Sadly, McGruff's legacy has been forever tarnished after being relieved of his duty as America's "Top Dog" of crime. The decision to remove McGruff came after a shockingly absurd display of carnal passion during a public appearance over the weekend in a small-town, middle school auditorium.

McGruff was taking part in an awards ceremony to honor students that demonstrated "a propensity for good citizenship" when he suddenly began to hump a seventh grade boy and his blue-haired Social Studies teacher, respectively. McGruff's handlers were quick with the choker chain and a rolled-up newspaper, but it was too late to reverse the damage that had been done.

Amidst the crying children and screaming adults in attendance, was McGruff's visible dog-wang protruding from his full length trench coat, obviously unaware of the consequences of its actions.

McGruff was immediately removed to the confines of his crime prevention van and shuttled off to avoid any further chaos or embarrassment.

Bob French, McGruff's Senior Handler had this to say, "Aside from being a crime prevention expert and law enforcement mouthpiece, McGruff is also a dog. He may be able to speak and walk on two legs, but he is still just a big, brown dog.

The idea of having him 'fixed' has been tossed around for quite some time now, but the guys in charge wanted to be sure that they could breed him should the need ever arise. It's a shame that it had to end like this, but I can't say that none of us saw it coming."

As it stands now, McGruff is set to be put to sleep in the next few weeks so that a more suitable, non-humping crime mascot can be found.

All of McGruff's awards and citations for performance will be burned, along with his now soiled trench coat. His collar and tags are headed for the Smithsonian's "Forgettable Americana" wing.