Will you marry me?

Babs maintains that Post has been aware of the cereal’s potential to be harmful to the moral fiber of families for decades. “This isn’t just a sick joke,” claims Greyshaw attorney Jimmy Grapes. “We have seen this sort of damnable behavior from wicked corporations before. Whether it be the dirty dog tobacco companies or even the Cadbury Candy Company that invades homes every Easter with their sugary delights while enticing young children everywhere to worship their chocolate gods.”

Taking the high road, Post authorities have declined to comment on the situation, noting that a Baptist version of their Alpha-Bits cereal exists with all of the vowels omitted. “We aren’t in this for the money”, Babs contends. “We just want Post to understand that any product that let’s kids spell out vulgar words is unacceptable.”

Although hundreds of miles away, Greyshaw’s comments have many Ohio Art workers worried about the future of their fabled childhood product, The Etch-a-Sketch. The toy has always provided children with creative ways to spell out cuss words and draw previously unimaginable scenes of depravity. Many industry insiders are hoping that the Greyshaw lawsuit will end with the Post lawsuit and that the fiery sword of moral righteousness will be put down in favor of sanity and the fun of kids everywhere.