Ronnie's previous DUI arrest.

According to police, the Burger King was killed by a poison-tipped French fry to his right temple which was shot at him as he sat in his ornate throne, most probably launched from a beverage straw blow gun in full view of his loyal subjects. A “Code Blue” was issued immediately after the incident and the Burger King’s castle was locked down so his security team could gather evidence and possibly capture the assailant before he had the opportunity to flee.

Police were called to the scene when members of the security detail found traces of red clown hair and huge footprints on the balcony outside the window looking in on the throne room, along with a discarded straw and detailed blueprints of the Burger King’s residence, the so-called Whopperham Palace.

The assassination has left the Burger King empire in disarray as the late monarch was unable to sire an heir because of his preference for the male gender which became public when his political marriage to “Wendy” ended in divorce and she divulged the Burger King’s secret to the media out of spite.

Police have contacted Mayor McCheese, the undisputed and corrupt leader of McDonaldland and have requested that he give up his longtime servant and friend, Ronald McDonald, so that he may be questioned and possibly even brought to justice. The defiant McCheese has so far refused to divulge McDonald’s location, and rumors abound that the Mayor himself orchestrated the assassination in response to allegations by the Burger King that McDonald’s latest round of ultra-hip television commercials are actually making consumers feel sick instead of inspiring them to buy more fat-boy value meals.

What is baffling police investigators at the present, is that McCheese would send Ronald to end the King’s reign instead of McDonaldland goons the Hamburglar or Grimace to administer the hit. The assumption is that the mission entailed more cunning and stealth than either of the gradeschool dropouts were capable of even though they are normally the enforcers of Mayor McCheese’s whims- their last assignments were the torching of a Hardees and the kidnapping of the Arby’s Oven Mit.

Police fear that McDonald may have already fled the country and could be in hiding for quite some time. A public funeral will be held for the Burger King on Saturday prior to burial in his family plot along with his bun-tipped scepter and a picture of he and Mario Lopez that was taken while on vacation in the South of France. A successor to his powerful throne has yet to be named at this time.