Mama said there'd be days like this.

Over the summer, Conway worked out a list of possible new incarnations; the lovable, docile hippie, the brooding and quiet loner-type who likes French films and writes introspective poetry (high school girls love those guys in the movies), the tough guy with a heart of gold, or the cool hipster with the Swingers-esque clothes.

After weighing the pros and cons of each possible identity, taking into account all of his own strengths and weaknesses along with the anticipated reactions to each of the same, he settled on the gentle hippie persona…Snatchville high was running low on hippie types and he could be just the guy to fill the bill.

Wasting no time, Pete went into seclusion for the entire summer, growing his hair long enough to pull behind his ears and studying the lingo and high pitched falsetto delivery that defines the hippie lexicon.

He painstakingly turned his nice mother-bought clothes into tattered costumes and forced himself to enjoy the smell of patchouli…no easy task. As the start of school rapidly approached, Pete fine-tuned his new self and tried out the hippie persona in the gentle climate of Tacoma where he assumed the nickname Pe-Pe (pronounced pay-pay).

He finagled his way into the tight-knit hippie community there and so believed that his act was a success and that this would surely be the best year of his life. Unfortunately for Pete, he neglected to take into account that Tacoma is not high school and that the people there are generally more accepting of people who are struggling through a very evident identity crisis than most students at the average high school are.

Now a few weeks into the virgin school year, Pete has become even more disliked by his classmates and has been labeled “Peter Poser” by the “cool kids” at Snatchville High. With his mother having refused to school him at home, Pete has been forced to resort to what he refers to as “Plan B” which is actually the same as his first plan only with a different new identity, one that he hopes will shift the wheel of popularity in his favor before he is forced to slink back into the comfortable confines of the AV Club.