Savor the flavor Old Timer...Easter's a comin'.

It’s like its own country down there, and now, thanks to Texas law enforcement arresting Texans for being drunk in bars, the state really is acting as though it has never been a part of the United States-- unhampered by the pesky provisions of personal freedom found in the US Constitution.

Not only has this crackdown hurt the owners of bars and rootin’ tootin’ saloons in the Lonestar State, but as one heartbroken Texan put it, “It’s an affront to God his-self.”

A recent telephone poll conducted by a Satire statistician of Texas residents shows that of the 93% of them that normally do get “butt-ass wasted” on Easter, only 67% of that number plans to do it in a bar-- a decline of 30% from last year’s holiday.

Most of the respondents claim that they are “scared” that they will be arrested by undercover police if they are caught in a bar…doing what people are supposed to do in bars (strange, I know)

Others said that they were simply going to “get drunk for Jesus” in other locations-- one devout soul saying that he planned on “getting’ snookered and passin’ out” in a makeshift tomb in his backyard only to be awakened early Easter morning by his “old lady” removing a large rock from the doorway as a practical demonstration of Jesus’ love for his “childrens.”

The true consequences of Texas’ “What the hell are bars for?” Initiative have yet to be fully realized, but with the riotous ten-gallon spirit of most Texans, there’s sure to be an uproar over the state interfering with their religious observances.

There are already rumblings of a “drink-in” at the Easter hot spot Pecos Bill’s which would be a rousing “first spur” in the side of a much needed change to the state’s new policy. As the poet once said, “a sober Texan on Easter is like a rodeo without a clown.”