Ahmadinejad and his baby.

With the world looking on in scorn, the bearded maestro of misinformation became visibly animated when emphasizing his defiance of Western policy regarding nuclear proliferation.

“America and its allies will die by the sword of Allah”, proclaimed Ahmadinejad. “With the power of plutonium, our great nation will rule the earth under one God…under one religion.”

Many so-called “experts” have foolishly assumed that the Iranian President’s pursuit of enriched nuclear material is a geopolitical power play geared towards establishing Iran as a world superpower and doomsday threat. However, Treebune.com has acquired information that suggests a much more sinister plot is unfolding before our very eyes. When plutonium begins to flow through the veins of Iran, Ahmadinejad will finally be able to convert his tired Delorean into a dangerous time machine.

Treebune.com correspondent and former Popular Science contributor Mikey L. Nuggets gives us the inside scoop on how such a machine could be constructed.

“Well the first thing you’re going to need is a decent vehicle. Any car will do I guess, but the Delorean is ideal because it has kick-ass doors and a tendency to leave flame trails when you reach speeds in excess of 100mph. Not only is this great for a drag race, but it would really leave an impression on folks that lived in the past. Now, the main component here is plutonium. Without plutonium you lack the juice to get you up to the speed required to time travel. Next, you’d definitely have to hardwire some sort of computing mechanism into the car’s console. The onboard computer would require a viable digital display that could be manipulated by users to dictate their particular time destination. I think that’s pretty much it.”

Short and mostly pointless, Nuggets’ simplified explanation of the logistics of time travel does not take into account the complex latticework of mathematics required in such an undertaking or it’s blatant disregard for the current laws of physics.

Undeterred by naysayers in his own scientific community, Ahmadinejad has reportedly been hard at work in his private laboratory making modifications to his trusty Delorean. Although the project has been draped in secrecy, a picture showing the proud Iranian leader in front of his weathered vehicle made the cover of Iran’s most popular news magazine, “Sand”.

The article made no mention of the vehicle’s purpose or potential capabilities, but our sources have confirmed what many Pentagon officials have quietly feared. Speaking under the condition of anonymity, General Richard A. Klopp gave Treebune.com an inside look of how the Pentagon is addressing the latest threat posed by Iran’s wacky leader.

“Our naval buildup in the Persian Gulf will undoubtedly provide the first-strike capabilities required to stop Mr. Ahmadinejad’s time travel plans in their tracks. Any attempt to time travel and/or drive a Delorean is a violation of U.N. policy and an explicit declaration of war.”

With an already itchy finger caressing the trigger of world war, Ahmadinejad’s latest scheme could thrust the globe into an epic and largely pointless battle. Stay tuned.