Kinky.

Despite their best intentions, they definitely did not anticipate the rancid aroma of inaction that could only come from either political ineptitude or a poorly wiped ass.

Skirting around issues like Paris Hilton at a Mensa meeting, the newly elected Democratic congress has done little to spark the fiery embers of action required to reach a reasonable conclusion to the war in Iraq.

While the world waits anxiously for the climactic withdrawal of troops from the embattled region, many United States officials continue to try and ignore the deafening chorus of an impassioned world opinion. “It is very clear that Americans have had just about enough of this war”, says House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

“Whatever our initial intentions were, it’s time to quit thrusting ourselves into harm’s way and put this issue to bed. I will be the first to admit that the original idea of an invasion sounded great, but I think America has sobered up and realized that the face of terror looks considerably different in the morning light of legitimate intelligence.”

Pelosi’s remarks have angered several high ranking United States Generals who maintain that a pre-mature withdrawal of troops could only leave America’s armed forces red in the face and blue in the ballistics.

 “A pullout right now would be disastrous in terms of our military’s self-confidence”, maintains Gen. Davis Deferens. “We have witnessed a highly successful penetration of insurgent defenses and pounded out a blueprint for the eruption of democracy and freedom in a very dark and foreboding place. What we have here is a military that was trained in the bush and has been suddenly whipped out onto the hot, barren landscape of a Middle-Eastern desert. But, I’ll tell you this much; all the whiskey in a coal miner’s cabinet couldn’t soften our resolve. We will remain hard and fast in pursuing the completion of our objective.”

With both sides now quickly rolling to a boil, time may be running out on a sensible solution. One can only hope that our eventual withdrawal from Iraq will leave more than soiled sheets and the proverbial, apologetic note on the nightstand.